Suffering Anxiety

Do you suffer with Anxiety ?
If so what normally triggers it and how do you cope with it ?

I have suffered anxiety on different levels for many years now, my main problem is going out, i cannot go out alone and have to rely on my family to be with me.

I recently discovered that my anxiety can be brought on by over thinking things, for instance ...
My hubby has been helping my aunty and uncle do some decorating and hes been away from home from early morning until early evening and i cant go out to the shops or anything unless one of my daughters are free to come with me or to go for me.
I wind myself up just thinking about and hes going back next week and ive been chewed to bits since yesterday grrr, i hate it xxx

Yes yes YES! I am not sure if you remember me talking about my anxiety issues in my videos when I had my vlogging channel or not Wen, I did actually start couseling for it and althought I am currently not going to counseling it helped me a GREAT deal during the time I did go. When it comes down to it anxiety stems from exactly that...OVER THINKING! I am a huge over thinker. I can not seem to just go out and do something. I have to run the "What ifs" over and over and over....WHAT IF I GET IN A CAR WRECK? WHAT IF HE GETS IN A CAR WRECK? WHAT IF SOMEONE KIDNAPS THE KIDS WHEN THEY GO THERE? WHAT IF I BREAK DOWN ALONG THE WAY AND SOMEONE KIDNAPS ME OR KILLS ME? WHAT IF...WHAT IF...WHAT IF!!!!!! I hate those two words because they are the evil that causes this whole mess in my brain. I have discovered new ways *thanks to my counselor* to turn off those thoughts or counter act them when they do start to happen. Like talking to myself...and asking myself questions to counter the thought for instance.....WHAT IF I GET IN A CAR WRECK? I would stop myself and ask.....have I been in a wreck before going to this place? How likely is it really that I would get into a wreck if I go to this place? Have I ever came close or has anyone in my family or friendship circle ever came close to getting in wreck while going to this certain place? I just keep asking myself questions like that until reality starts to take over and rational thinking starts to win over the anxiety. It sounds so simple but it does work.

The important thing to do when you start having anxiety is to just stop...completely stop what your doing. Go sit somewhere and only think about the thoughts your thinking. Why are you thinking them? Do they REALLY make sense? Probably not. Start talking yourself down with little steps you know will work, the little things you know you will believe and gradually you will start to see improvements. I used to not be able to even let my kids go outside with their dad to play without me being there. I was terrified that he wouldn't watch them close enough and they would wander off or someone would take them or they would get hit by a car because we live by a busy street. I've since realized that althought thouse things could happen they are extremely unlikely because he is a good father and he wouldn't let anything happen to the kids anymore than I would. I also used to have extreme anxiety when I would go anywhere by myself like you. I have made good improvements on that as well. Althought I still can't go to the next town without the anxiety I can now go anwhere within my town...anywhere without feeling one single bit of anxiety. I also would never go anywhere if I hadn't been there before or at least made my husband take me there the day before just so I would know where it was, what it looked like, how traffic was on the way there, etc. For the first time in I can't remember when I actually got in the car myself two weeks ago and drove to a friend's house that I had never been to before, I just had her home address to go by and my GPS, her house was also in an area that I wasn't familiar with and hadn't been to at all. Did I feel the anxiety before I left...Sure I did, but you have got to come to terms with it and say to yourself...I AM BIGGER THAN THIS AND THIS WILL NOT STOP ME FROM LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST! I was very nervous, but as crazy as it may seem all the way there I talked to myself, telling myself that I was doing good and that everything was ok, that I was almost there and before I knew it I WAS THERE! I was so proud of myself!

You can do this to hun, just have faith in yourself. You are strong. Be strong willed. Shift your way of thinking and you can beat this. I am starting to beat mine, there are things that still give me alot of anxiety like the kids starting school this year, but I have to let them go so they can have a normal life. I think about things like that. I think about my childhood and how I enjoyed going to school and meeting my friends etc. It will be tough but I will be strong and brave faced the first day..second day and however long it takes before the anxiety starts to wear down into more rational thinking because as you become more familiar with things that is what will happen...rational thinking starts taking the place of the anxious WHAT IFS! You just got to take that first step of faith and start exposing yourself to become used to going to the store without your hubby or kids or anywhere else you need to go. Go one time by yourself...just try it...and while your going think about the thoughts your having..try to break them down...why are you thinking this way? Is there something going on around you at that moment that is making you think that thought? Chances are your answer will be no on that. That is when you need to start replacing those thoughts with more rational ones. Like, look it's such a nice day, look at those people they aren't worried, why should I be? Or it feels so nice to be out walking, look at how blue the sky is and how nice the air feels...thoughts like that to distract yourself. Think about other things like this forum, things you would like to put on it, or anything else that brings you great pleasure to distract your mind enough and before you know it you will be at the store! As you do that a couple times it will start become more familiar to you and your brain will start rationalizing things better instead of just "assuming" this or that is going to happen.

I'm not trying to act like I know everything hun, because Lord knows I still deal with my anxiety on a daily basis but the difference from me deal with it now from me dealing with it before is that I am not longer letting it win. You can do the same hun. Remember one thing..no one has ever died from anxiety attacks. No one...regardless of the way they make you feel, you are not going to go into a heart attack, you are not going to die. You body is used to that adrenaline that anxiety attacks bring on, it's not going to kill you or bring on anything that will hurt you. Just remember that!

xoxo! I'm here if you ever need to talk about it hun.

Bless your heart vivi,
I remember well your vlog about anxiety and the help you were getting hun, i remember feeling very proud of you for being so brave to speak out.

I have also been to counseling twice with two different people, i was let down by each one.

My first counselor wrote me off because i couldnt make it to see him twice when i was suffering depression at my sons first angelversary, he never even told me.
I rang to make an appointment and was told hed wrote me off.

The second counselor was brilliant, i felt i was finally making some head way with her, she challenged me and i was happy to try with baby steps of course and i could totally relate to her.

Then after around 4 months i got a letter to say that she had gone on maternity leave and that i was welcome to find my own counselor via the NHS hELP LINE thing.
I was mortified and decided then and there that it was a total waste of space if i was just going to be let down all the time, and i was way to anxious to refer myself anyway.

Unfortunately i havent tried again since and im still stuck, but i know something has to change, so i will bare in mind what you have shared with me hun whilst i pluck up the courage to make the first move
Thank you my friend xxx