12 steps to... detox your relationship

Be honest - and then compromise
Agree a time to sit down and listen to one another. Set a few ground rules before you begin. Both of you should get 10 minutes to say how you feel, while the other one listens. When you've finished, look for the compromises you can make to improve the situation. Together, you can make it work.

Sincere apologies
Forget blame, it's important that the recriminations and finger-pointing stops now. It is more constructive for you both to hold your hands up to any less-than-good behaviour over the past few weeks. Saying a genuine "sorry" is one of the most healing steps to take.

Hello stranger
Simple pleasures - an affectionate hug, a kiss goodnight and a little flirting - can help to heal angry feelings. Not only does touch help the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, but it can build bridges.

A kindness a day keeps divorce away
Consider what you can do for your partner rather than always thinking, "What can they do for me?" A small gesture could make their day easier or more pleasant such as texting a joke, making a supper or bringing a cup of tea to bed in the morning. Small kindnesses go a long way towards healing difficulties.

Relight my fire
Focus on what's important now - the two of you. You may have lost sight of putting your relationship first over Christmas, but you can change that now. Carve out some quality time together and stick these dates in your diaries today. Keep them simple: explore a new beauty spot or revisit places where you first dated.

Reminisce on romance
Rekindle fonder memories - to help to banish recollections of the past fraught weeks. Ask your partner to go through your wedding album or photos from a happy holiday to re-establish warm and loving memories. Research shows that couples who regularly look back on the good times are happier.

In excess
Too much of anything is never a good thing, no matter how it might seem at the time. Filling the gaps where you should be talking or resolving an argument with sex is unhealthy. Make love only when you both feel unburdened by ill feelings towards each other - hate sex is the fastest way to destroy a relationship.

Wandering eye
The easiest way to secure affection in a waning relationship is to seek it elsewhere but to stay focused on fixing the partnership you've got and to prevent yourself cheating, keep your eye on the long term goal - a happier and more in love you.

Your own worst enemy
Recognise self-sabotaging behaviors in order to avoid them and rouse unnecessary suspicions within your already muddled mind. So, if you can't resist checking your boyfriend's email, don't sit down at his computer.

Friends reunited
Remember the days when you used to share a joke over a glass of wine, agree on absolutely everything and finish each other's sentences? You were friends once so try and remember why you liked (not loved) each other and retrace your steps to get back to having some much needed fun together.

Sweet nothings
Just before your partner is completely awake, roll over and whisper something complimentary or adoring in their ear. What a nice way to start the day and it puts your relationship instantly on the right track for a good morning at least.